Pejoratives aside...

According to my good friend Wikipedia, a Chinese fire drill is "a pejorative expression usually referring to a prank, or perhaps an expression of high spirits, that was popular in the United States during the 1960s. It is performed when a car is stopped at a red traffic light, at which point all of the car's occupants get out, run around the car, and return to their own seats." Therefore, "the expression 'Chinese Fire Drill' is the act of a group of individuals accomplishing nothing. The term is also used as a figure of speech to mean any large, ineffective, and chaotic exercise."

Well, after today, I really can't be offended by this colloquial expression.

Ever since I've been here I've been put in situations, circumstances or events that give me a sense of confusion, disbelief, horror, or amusement. I call these my "I live in China" moments. On rare and special occasions, I am fortunate enough to experience all of those reactions at one time. As was the case today!

So the school had told us in advance that we would have a fire drill during which the local Chinese fire department would come, set off smoke bombs, create fake fires, create and extinguish an actual, contained fire. The pièce de résistance would be the simulated rescue of a student. We all wondered who dreamt this up and why it would be a good idea.

A little background. Last week, we had a fire drill without the bells and whistles, perhaps a dry run, if you will. I told my students about it, but a few who don't speak much English became very worried and tears flowed. I got very distressed about it and wondered how they would take the fake fires. But we were lucky to have this practice practice prepare them for the real fake thing.

So back to today. Our 10am scheduled drill was running late (I later found out that the fire department forgot the impostor incendiary stuff and went back to get it) I had planned for the kids to have a transition just before 10 so it would cause as little disruption as possible. So 10 came and went, without the alarm going off. There I was, reading Shel Silverstein's Runny Babbit to kill time. I finally had to give up and have them to do some independent work - and the alarm finally sounded at 10:30.

By the time we got to the first floor, I already smell smoke and the kids are covering their noses. Outside, we see this orange smoke/flame action going on. My kids are so distracted by this sight that they are amused and laughing. We find our Grade 2 post to sit down at and watch the firefighters run inside the building, put out the smoky thing. Then just a few feet from us, they start a fire inside this giant metal bowls, then put them out with a fire extinguisher. However, they didn't use them correctly. Another thing I later found out was that closer to the field, someone dropped a fire extinguisher, causing it to explode.

Accompanying this spectacle were photographers and videographers. I am so disappointed that I didn't capture this with my camera and hope to have an opportunity to do so. Because you probably don't believe any of this.